One great thing about Bumble is that it helps you connect with all kinds of new people. But what happens when you match with someone, start chatting, and then things change? Maybe the banter is off, and you realize someone who initially appeared to be a good fit is actually better suited for someone else. Or you find yourself more excited about pursuing other matches, get into a relationship, or the momentum you had from your earlier conversations simply fizzles out. Whatever the case, ending a Bumble chat can feel tricky.
Ghosting might seem like an easy out, but anyone who’s experienced it can attest to the fact that it doesn’t feel good. Sure, there are times when it’s fine to cut off the conversation by not replying (and we’ll get to that!). But in general, it’s best to let the other person know—with kindness and respect—that you’re done with your chat so that both of you can move forward without any hard feelings. Read on for more tips on how to end a conversation with a Bumble match on good terms.
Consider where you left off
If you and a match have only sent a few messages back and forth exchanging pleasantries or ice breakers, sending a note to officially end the chat is probably not necessary. Likewise if your match hasn’t responded to you in the chat for a while. But if you’ve been chatting steadily, or the conversation took a more personal turn, you want to be mindful of that. Following up with a quick note to let them know you’re no longer interested is the thoughtful thing to do so they aren’t left hanging (more on exactly what to say below).
Let them know you’re not interested when you know
It takes chatting back and forth with a new match for a bit before you’ll know whether that person is someone you’re genuinely excited to get to know better. Sometimes that realization comes to you within a couple of hours; other times it can take weeks. But once you realize you’re no longer interested in keeping things going, it’s best to let them know right away. Yes, it can be awkward, especially when you risk hurting another person’s feelings. But letting someone know you’re not feeling a connection is actually the kind thing to do.
Be honest, and keep it brief
Unless you actually do want to be friends or stay in touch, don’t make insincere promises for the sake of softening the blow. Keeping a door open between you, then failing to deliver, will only make them feel led on. Offering them honest closure is the better move. Resist the urge to over-explain, and instead stick to this tried-and-true formula: offer a genuine compliment, name your reason for moving on, then shut the door. Say something like, “Hey! I’ve really appreciated the opportunity to get to know you a little bit. That said, I don’t see a romantic connection.” It’s concise without being harsh. Or, if you don’t feel like offering an explanation for whatever reason (which is completely valid!), just keep it brief with a succinct, “I’ve been thinking, and I don’t feel that we’re a match.” Then, wish them luck so you can both move on.
Let go of what you can’t control
No matter how kindly you try to handle it, there may be times when someone has an emotional reaction to your decision to end a chat. You can’t control that. What you do have power over is your own response. If you’re comfortable with it, and they’re addressing you respectfully, responding with something as simple as “I understand your disappointment” can make them feel seen and heard. But if they’re being deliberately hurtful or offensive, you can Block & Report them and move forward knowing you handled the situation as directly and respectfully as possible.
It’s always best to lead with kindness in dating, even in hard situations. After all, you’d want others to treat you the same way! Once you respectfully end the chat with your match, you can both move on to seeking more compatible connections.
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