By Sara Gaynes Levy
In 2019, Ashlyn, a nursing student at the time, was watching a football game with her then-boyfriend, now her husband. During a commercial break, an ad for Bumble came on, and Ashlyn turned to her boyfriend to confess something. “I kind of hate that I never got to do the whole dating app thing,” she remembers saying. “I think making a dating profile would be kind of fun!” Thanks to the commercial, her now-husband had a realization. “He said: ‘do Bumble BFF! You’ve been saying you wanted to meet a few more friends–make a profile for that!’” So, she did. (And it was fun.)
Around the same time, Hannah had moved to the Oklahoma City area for a job in social media. She was hoping to meet some new friends too. She’d met her then-boyfriend, now-husband on Bumble, so she thought she’d try the “friend version.” Ashlyn, an Oklahoma native, remembers swiping right on Hannah after she saw the other places she’d lived—Germany, and California for college—and wanted to know more. Hannah just recalls that Ashlyn had a “good energy,” and swiped right on her too.
They chatted a bit about Hannah’s new-job, new-town situation and quickly decided to meet in person at the same Mexican restaurant where Hannah had her first date with her Bumble boyfriend. “I remember we even acknowledged that it felt kind of like a first date,” Hannah says with a laugh. But if that’s what it was, it was a good one. “It felt very much like we were in the same stage of life,” says Hannah: both were in serious relationships, and both were starting on career paths that excited them. “And there were a lot of similarities in how we were raised, and what our values were.” They started hanging out more regularly, and going on lots of coffee dates. “We got along really well,” says Ashlyn. One important early bonding point was they had similar relationships with spirituality. “That was really big for me, because I feel like sometimes it’s hard to find friends in similar walks of faith,” she says.
Hannah remembers Ashlyn’s birthday lunch, a few months after they met, being a moment when she felt welcomed and included by her new friend. “All of her friends were just as warm, accepting, and inviting as she is,” Hannah says. A few weeks later, Hannah was celebrating Ashlyn again at her engagement party. “She just really quickly felt like a friend that I could trust,” says Ashlyn.
Their friendship continued to grow and deepen. One thing Ashlyn, as a native of Oklahoma, loved about her new friend Hannah was that the two met as adults—not as high-schoolers, or in college. “That was a huge thing for me,” she says. “It felt exciting. It’s nice to have a friend that knows a more mature version of me.” Hannah felt that energy as well. “I felt like our friendship was a no-judgment zone right away, and that it was just like a really safe space to talk about everything,” Hannah says. That kind of friendship goes deep: When Hannah got engaged a year and a half after they first met, she asked Ashlyn to be one of her bridesmaids. “That was such a happy moment for me,” says Ashlyn.
One of the marks of a solid friendship is support through the highs and lows of life, and Hannah and Ashlyn certainly have that. On the way to Hannah’s bachelorette party in Palm Springs, Calif., Ashlyn confided in Hannah that her period was late. When it still hadn’t come by day two of the trip, Hannah took Ashlyn to get a pregnancy test. “I was changing in the closet with my sister, and I heard all the girls screaming,” says Hannah, who joked that she feared they’d hired a stripper without her approval. “But I came out and Ashlyn was holding a positive pregnancy test. It was just the best surprise. It was so fun to have that moment.”.
Unfortunately, a few weeks after the trip, Ashlyn learned that they’d lost the pregnancy. “Hannah really helped get me through that season,” says Ashlyn. “It was still such a special moment that I will cherish forever, finding out that I was pregnant at her bachelorette party with our first baby. She was a really good friend through it all. When I think of her, I think of selflessness and intentionality.”
Hannah has seen that unwavering support from Ashlyn too. “It’s so easy to be there for people in the good times,” says Hannah. “But when shit hits the fan, she’s the person I go to, because it’s always just non-judgmental, authentic and genuine. I remember one time we were having a really hard conversation and she just looked at me and said, ‘do you need me to listen or do you want me to respond?’” To Hannah, this was one of the most powerful things a friend had ever said to her. “She was really taking the time to be what I needed, not to interject with her own thoughts or feelings.” And after difficult conversations, Ashlyn would often send a song, or a Bible verse, or a “thinking of you” text, just to check in. “She just radiates this authentic, peaceful, happy energy.”
Ashlyn got pregnant again, and had a baby girl. Her friendship with Hannah has continued to grow stronger as Hannah has developed a relationship with baby Eleanor too. “One day, I was really needing coffee and—honestly—company,” Ashlyn says. She texted Hannah, and she came right over, coffee in hand. “I’ve never questioned our friendship,” Hannah adds.
The two friends feel like part of one another’s family now. “Her mom and I follow each other on Instagram and her mom is one of my number one hype girls,” says Hannah, laughing. Ashlyn feels the same familial bond. “I feel like we’re just doing life together,” says Ashlyn. “It’s weird to think of a time when Hannah wasn’t in my life.”
For anyone not sure if their BFF is out there, let Hannah and Ashlyn be the proof. “Whenever I’d tell people we met on Bumble, people would think I was kidding!” says Ashlyn. “We’re such natural friends. But, yeah, we met on an app!”
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